


Fractured

by Icalynn



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Genre: Car Accidents, Car Sex, Drugs, Hallucinations, Hospitals, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:09:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icalynn/pseuds/Icalynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene, a tragic accident, and nothing is ever the same again. A companion piece to "Custody" by Ischa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fractured

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Custody](https://archiveofourown.org/works/523535) by [Ischa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ischa/pseuds/Ischa). 



> Inspired by a dream, after reading Ischa's "dark" ending... Beta'd by Ischa

The music is loud, the crazy techno music that’s he’s starting to like just a little bit. But all he can really focus on is Ma-ku pressed against him. The heat of her body is intoxicating and he pulls her into a kiss, not caring what anyone else in the club thinks.

It’s a long overdue celebration. John nailed the bid for an ad campaign that will set them up for a very long time. Maybe not Wayne rich, but more than enough to live very happy for some time and not have to worry about bills and if they can keep that shitty roof over their heads. 

“Let’s go home,” she tugs on his shirt and he nods, threading his fingers with hers as he pulls her toward the doors.

The night air is cool and he steals another kiss, “The night is still young.” 

She runs her hands down his sides, grinding her hips against his. “John.” 

His body flushes with desire, he recognizes the need in her voice and he nods. “Yeah, okay.” 

“Okay.” She smiles, tugging on his hand as she flags a taxi down. “You can afford it.” She teases and he laughs. 

Ma-ku rattles off their address as they climb into the back. John settles in, biting back a moan when she straddles him and they continue kissing. John is lost in a haze of Ma-ku. He can feel her, taste her, touch her, and it feels like he’s in heaven. 

The car swerves and he inhales sharply, dragging his fingers over her hips to keep her closer to him. He pulls back from her lips, glaring at the driver who’s watching them a little too closely. “Keep your eyes on the road.”

She laughs, biting at his neck. “Let him watch.” 

He groans, they’ve never done this before. He blames the fancy drinks they ordered and the good news… it’s just one of those nights. John feels simply euphoric, and more full of life than he’s ever felt before. “Ma-ku,” he inhales, claiming her lips in a passionate kiss. 

There’s an angry clash of metal and the car swerves once more. He instinctively holds Ma-ku closer as the car flips over and something hits them from the side. The force of the impact rips them apart and he cries out her name. There’s a blinding pain just behind his eye and he surges forward out of his seat.

There’s darkness all around him and he can hear sirens in the background. He reaches for her, but he can’t feel her beside him. He’s pinned down and his whole body aches. “Ma-ku!” 

His heart stops when she doesn’t reply and he stretches out as far as he can and his fingers brush against hers. “Ma-ku!” He inhales, squeezing her hand and he’s rewarded with a light caress of her thumb over his wrist. “It’s okay, we’ll be okay.” They have to be. 

John holds onto her hand for dear life, crying out with pain as the car shifts and he’s being pulled away from her. “No, Ma-ku!” He fights the hands that are trying to help him, he doesn’t care about himself. He has to go to her. He has to make sure she’s okay. Ma-ku is his life. 

He hisses when they restrain him to the gurney, they’re speaking too fast and he can’t understand them. “I’m fine,” he insists as a needle is placed in his arm and he suddenly feels drowsy, his mind clouding. “No.” 

John glances over to see them helping Ma-ku and he calms slightly. “Will she be okay?” He asks and one of them follows his gaze. 

“They’re doing all they can,” Her English is really good and she gives him a reassuring smile and he settles even more, trusting her. “Her vital signs seem strong from here.”

“Vital signs?” He questions, not familiar with medical jargon. 

“Her heart rate, her respiratory rate, her oxygen level, and her blood pressure are within normal limits.” She explains, squeezing his arm. 

It still sounds foreign to him, but more reassuring and he nods. “Okay.” 

“Okay,” she smiles as she pushes another needle into his arm, this time it has long tubing attached to it and he groans as he feels more drugs rushing through his body. “Rest.” 

He tries to fight the drugs, but his head swims and he has no choice but to close his eyes and give in. 

~

“Morning,” Ma-ku purrs into his ear and he smiles, turning to her. “How do you feel?” 

“A little sore,” he groans, taking her hand in his. “You?”

“The same,” she offers softly as she kisses his hand. “Next time, no taxi.” 

He laughs, hissing slightly as he rubs his chest. “No taxi.” He tugs her closer, kissing her. “Let’s get out of here.” 

“Robin.” 

He inhales sharply at his given name, “What?”

“Robin.” 

John blinks, Ma-ku is disappearing before his eyes. His heart drops and his breathing hitches as a wave of panic sets in. “Where is she?” He demands as he attempts to get out of the bed, cursing as the restraints hold him in place. 

The petite woman at his side smiles and he vaguely wonders if she’s his nurse. She places a hand on his wrist and he tenses. “Robin-”

“It’s John,” he snaps. “Where is she?”

“Who?” She questions and he slumps back onto the bed. 

“Ma-ku, we were in the taxi together… she was just here.” 

She frowns and his heart skips a beat when he suddenly realizes that she wasn’t here at his bedside just a moment ago. “The other passenger is in the ICU.” 

He feels the heat of tears and he fights the restraints even more. “I’m fine, I just need to see her.” 

“You need to rest, you have some internal bruising,” she begins, filling a syringe and injecting it into his intravenous tubing. “This will help you sleep.” 

“Fuck you,” he growls. “You can’t do this to me, I have rights.” But he’s in another country and his only family is Ma-ku… and Andy… he blinks, his body feeling sluggish as the drugs start to cloud his mind. And Alfred. 

Wayne. 

~

He groans as he begins to stir, sighing as he feels soothing fingers in his hair. John’s lips quirk up into a small smile and he leans into the touch. It’s a familiar touch, something he’s longed for.

“John.” 

John’s breathe catches and he looks up into the face he’s been dreading and longing to see for so long. “Wayne,” John glances over him, unable to believe his eyes. “How did you know?”

“I’m still your emergency contact,” Wayne explains as his hand stills, his thumb tracing over his lower lip and John whimpers at the light touch. “You could have called me.” 

“You wouldn’t have answered.” John insists. “You never did, not once…after all this time.” He closes his eyes, pulling his head away from Wayne’s touch. 

“John.” Wayne stresses, his voice catching slightly and John knows how much it meant for him to be here.

“Don’t.” He hisses, “Not now, not here…” His eyes snap open, when the earlier events crash over him. “Ma-ku!” He jerks forward, this time there are no restraints holding him back. He glances over at Wayne, but he’s no longer there. 

He inhales sharply, dragging his hands through his hair as he curses at himself and the damn drugs that were pumped into his system. Of course Wayne wouldn’t be here for him now, especially when he couldn’t be there for him then. 

The sudden disappointment washes over him and his heart aches as if those stolen moments just happened. He feels raw and exposed. Angry. 

He needs Ma-ku, she’s the only one that has been able to heal him and put him back together. 

John rips off the cardiac leads on his chest, ignoring the alarms as he pulls out the intravenous line. He hisses slightly, grabbing a tissue to stop the bleeding. And before the nurse can stop him, he heads into the hallway in search of her. 

He gets lost as he tries to find the ICU and he’s stopped by a security guard that knows little English and John’s head is too muddled to speak proper Korean. He curses in both languages, frustrated. He just needs to see her and he knows everything will be okay. “Ma-ku?” He asks once more, before he pushes past him and looks in every room until he finally finds her. 

He freezes, his heart skipping a beat. He tentatively reaches out, taking her hand in his. She looks so fragile in the bed. John swallows down the tears that threaten to overwhelm him. “Ma-ku.” 

“Who are you?” A voice questions and he glances over at what he assumes is her doctor.

“The fiancé,” he stretches the truth a bit, knowing that they’d probably kick him out otherwise. And one day he plans to make her permanently part of his life. One day. “How-” he bites his lip, worrying it as he tries to find the strength to ask how she is. But deep down, he already knows. 

He knows that day will never come.

She’s too pale, her skin too cool, and her body is unresponsive to his touch… he doesn’t know much about nursing care, but he can see that the machine is breathing for her. He kisses her hand, squeezing it as he blinks back his tears. 

“The patient has had significant brain trauma,” the doctor states solemnly and John’s breath hitches in response. “There’s no brain activity.” 

John can’t seem to process his words and it repeats over and over in his head. There’s no brain activity. His beautiful Ma-ku will never open her eyes again, he’ll never hear her goofy laugh again… taste her lips against his and feel her flush with desire as they make love. 

“When?” John barely manages. 

“Tonight, his parents have signed the paperwork.” John tenses at his words and he shoots up from his seat. 

“His parents?” He inhales, his anger washing over his grief. “Where are they?” 

“They just left,” the doctor studies him, confusion lacing his features. 

John growls in response as he slams his fist into the wall. He relishes the pain and it helps him to focus his emotions on that, instead of the thought of losing her.

“You wanted them back in your life, and they finally return now only to let you go. They couldn’t accept you the way I do.” Tears fill his eyes and he angrily brushes them away. “It’s not fair,” he inhales, slamming his fist once more against the wall. “It’s not fair.” 

He’s lost everyone that he’s ever loved in his life. His mother, his father… and now Ma-ku. 

He wonders briefly if he’s cursed to lose the ones he loves, that he’s not worthy of love. Maybe that’s why Wayne couldn’t love him back. He bites his lip, not letting his thoughts go there and he pushes all his emotions away, pulling on the mask. He will not let himself grieve for her. If he does, it makes it more final.

Real. 

“God, Ma-ku.” 

He sits there, holding onto her hand as if that would suddenly make her come back to life. Visiting hours come and go, but he refuses to leave her or to accept that in one more hour she’ll be permanently gone from his life. 

John wants to be able to blame someone, anyone… but there isn’t anyone to blame. It was an accident and they were being foolish and in love. God, how he wishes he could turn back time. 

He suddenly thinks of everything that he should have told her, how much he loves her, and how she saved his life. He wants to tell her everything about Gotham, his parents… He wishes that he had more time with her, that he had made love to her like she always desired but never pushed him. 

John thought that they’d have more time, that they’d have a lifetime together.

“It’s time.” 

The doctor’s words twist in his heart and he just nods, sitting there so helpless. It’s John’s worse fear, not being able to do anything for the one he loves… just like his mother, his father. 

“Fuck.” 

He watches as they turn off the machine and it feels like everything stops. The air no longer moves, he can’t breathe, he can’t think, he can’t live without her. 

~ 

John stares blankly at the wall, colors of green and gold blur together and it takes him a moment to realize he’s home. And she’s not with him. 

He doesn’t even remember how he got here. He’s tempted to run out of the flat and go back to the seedy bar that they first met in, just to pick a fight and hope this time he doesn’t make it out alive.

Wayne. 

John aches to hear his voice, to have him hold him in his arms and tell him that it’ll be okay, that he has him. His heart squeezes painfully tight and he knows that will never happen. 

He dials the only other number he can, he inhales sharply when he hears Andy’s voice and deep down he tells himself that everything’s going to be okay… the only thing is that he doesn’t believe it will be. And this time he’s not sure how to save himself. 

He ran away the first time, the only thing to do now was to go back to Gotham and complete the circle. Maybe he’ll find some peace one day, but that day seems so far away. He’s not okay.


End file.
